My mother has a very low benchmark for things that impress her. This is a legacy, I suspect, of a lifetime teaching small children to do the kind of things grown ups do all the time, and she enthuses like a pro. Things that impress her include: a good run on the freeway, restaurants with efficient service, and people who arrive on schedule. I remember once, as a child, sitting beside her in traffic as we waited for the car in front of us to negotiate a particularly tight reverse parallel park. As the driver executed the move with the skill of a soviet-era gymnast, my mother’s eyes popped and she exclaimed ‘What a nifty park! Would you check that out?’ I looked on, equally dazzled, and I dare say a little awed by this fairly mundane occurrence.

This was the training ground that developed my own set of standards for things that command my admiration. It is a low low benchmark – you will find me kowtowing in awe at a decent cup of coffee or pledging eternal fealty to people who meet deadlines. So against this backdrop, we must consider my response to finding out that my book is now available for pre order online. Obviously I lost my proverbial, first prancing around the room in homage to myself then sitting still and silent on the couch staring at my laptop screen in revered modesty, demanding every so often that my boyfriend also look at the screen (‘No LOOK at it. Properly. LOOK AT IT LIKE I AM LOOKING AT IT.’)

I’m not quite sure what will happen when the book is available on actual bookshelves, but I imagine it will involve me first im- then exploding, gracefully and jittery, like a terrier on crack. Bring on August 1.